How to Overcome Self-Loathing

“Self-loathing for the remainder of life” was a question that came in when we asked what questions or queries or issues do you have that you would like us to answer or discuss?

I thought about it for a while then realised that’s a really big subject and also just recently, seeing how many people when you unpeel the layers, in actual fact, there’s an element of self-loathing for a lot of us, to be honest.

And, obviously, certain people, in particular at particular times in their life that they can really feel that sense of self-loathing so this subject is really, really deep and really, really complex but in actual fact it’s really, really simple because my view on it is:

“Self-loathing is purely a result of a misalignment with true self.”

Saying that again, it is simply misalignment with your true self, because self-loathing happens when basically – you have a big version of you and a small version of you. And the small version of you, don’t think about the size but the small version is the true essence, the true light, the true you. And then the big version of you is this body that you walk around in and the actions that you take and the decisions that you make and the alignment between the true brilliant perfect piece of soul connected light that is you, and the big version of you, if there’s a difference between them then that is where self-loathing happens.

What happens is that internal sense of your true sense of self is loathing at the big version of yourself going, “What the hell are you doing?? Why are you making those dumb decisions?? Yeah, this has happened because of this external situation but why don’t you get out and look after yourself?” and those types of things. And that’s when self-loathing happens so it’s actually a signal, just to tell us that we’re out of whack. And we get caught up in the negative loop of it and having the mentality that I’m just self loathing and beat myself up not to take an action, and go around, around, that’s not the point. It is a message, self-loathing.

Those negative feelings are a signal of not being in alignment, and to get out of it is actually quite simple, which is actually to listen to that. Listen to that self-loathing. Finish the thought about, what does that actually mean for me? Where am I not actually showing up in true alignment with self? What actions and decisions do I need to make? And get on and do them.

Yesterday I had a conversation with someone who lost two businesses through COVID, and now they would need to relaunch and they have six months to turn things around but they were hindering on doing it and launching and needed some validation from me. I just said you just need to do it. You just need to do it now you know what you need to do if you need someone to tell you to do it, then I’m telling you to do it. Is there any reason why you can’t email your existing clients and say, “This is a new service that you’re going to be offering, do they want to discuss?” and they went, “Well, no, just this, that and the other” and I ask them, is that really a reason not to send an email? Does that stop you sending emails? And their answer was “No”, so I told them to just do it.

And so, there’s another video I’ve done about when’s the best time to change, and that’s now, so there’s no point in looking back going, I haven’t changed up to now because you only perpetuate the problem by non-action so self-loathing is simply a misalignment with self. The answer is to listen to yourself. What does that tell you, and take action and move forward. That’s the simple answer, but if you’re struggling, then I offer free strategy sessions where we can just talk through your individual situations!

Make sure to check out my previous post on the Cycle of Change:

The InspireMe Cycle of Change Process


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