Being an Authentic Coach

I want to talk about the subject of vulnerability and weakness.

I think is so important for leadership, but also for personal development, as well, because one of the things I’m drawn to is that so many people who are on social media, advocating and almost putting them up themselves up on a pedestal with regards to “Guru Status”, and that they’re a guru in their particular field and they’ve got it all sorted and you just need to follow exactly what they do and you’ll be alright because it’s a proven technique because it’s worked for them. Therefore, surely it must work for you as well. And if you, it doesn’t work for you then there must be something wrong with you. This is something I have a fundamental issue with because there’s nothing wrong with any of us, is my truth.

The first thing is when I say my truth, it’s not saying that that is the truth but It’s just my perception of the truth. The second thing is that I have become aware of feedback that I’ve got from people who have said to me, “Robin, you’re so stoic and the way that you show up” and this isn’t just in social media, this is in my personal life with my friends and the people that I’m kind of connected with and everything. They add, “You know you never show signs of weakness, you’re so strong, even through the difficult times in the situations that you have and everything else like that.” And I say that I really feel like I do, but obviously I’m not in the way that the feedback is that they’re not seeing that and I just want to make sure that, as I’ve always said in my videos I want to show up 100% authentic and me. What you see is what you get if any of you guys will reach out to me and have a call or a video conference then this is literally me.

And so I just wanted to let you know that – I think we all need to be open, and particularly with regards to leadership and our own personal development. With leadership of others, we need to show our vulnerability, and our weaknesses. We need to do that because it’s actually quite inspiring for people to do that, and you can, as someone said to me:

It’s good to learn from your own mistakes but it’s far greater to learn from someone else’s.

I’ll tell you one of mine right now, I became really overwhelmed with things this week, and I just couldn’t get my mindset right, so I’ve taken an action to come away for a day to get myself clear on things and everything else like that and it’s helped me tremendously. But the main thing is that I still felt that way because my mom is in the intensive care unit; we got called by the school that William, our son, was sick and they were gonna send him to the hospital which was on top of other things.

It’s very easy, if you’re not just overwhelmed yourself to become overwhelmed because of external situations. So, I wanted to let you know that we’re all in this together. And the thing is that you don’t have to feel like you’re a guru in your field and really push things and everything else like that to help people. And I think the key thing is that none of us actually know the full truth of almost anything really. And the work that I do is built on the things that I’ve seen, experienced, learned, practiced. Like I say to my clients,

“Everything is a theory to be tested”

Because it’s a theory to be tested on you and you are your own reality, and you just need to try things for you. And what I’d also like to just finish with is that I’d like to say that we are all responsible for ourselves, but also we all have value to share with other people. So whoever you are, make sure that you take an action today, which is to provide advice, guidance, insight, in a non-judgmental authentic way showing your weaknesses and your vulnerabilities to other people, because I think we can all help one another.

Do check out my last post on How to Deal with Self-Loathing:

The Importance of Self-Acceptance


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