What about that feeling when you get up in the morning, open your eyes, and you could be looking forward to the day, or you could be dreading the day. But there are people out there who have never had the experience of looking forward to the day. And if you haven’t had that, how do you even know if that’s possible for you?
This is what a lot of people don’t realize, because we actually become complacent in our own lives, we kind of assume, well, this is as good as we can get. But if I got out of the way of myself, what could I achieve? And so I talked about setting higher expectations all the time and it depends where you’re at. And that’s why looking at yourself is so key.
A lot of people say to me, “Robin, I’ve got no choice.” I’m like, Yes, you do, there’s not a regime that tells you that you must do it like this, we live in a democratic kind of society, you’re choosing to go to that job every day. And they say “I know. But I need to because you know, I need that income for that property or whatever.” Well, you’re choosing to do that.
Sometimes it’s about lowering the expectation, changing things. And to get that to get that better balance. That’s a real red flag as well – if you ever say to yourself, I’ve got no choice, then I would say you are the problem in your situation. Because you’ve always got a choice. And maybe that is the choice that you’re making. But are you actually thinking about it? Are you actually thinking about everything right now? Or are you just assuming that it has to be this way?
What about in the other sense of as soon as there’s any element of pain and people say, I just want to get away from this. I’m just going to constantly change things so that it’s always novel.
The way work, we run three times faster away from pain than we do towards joy. What pain are we running away from? And that’s why change management is so hard. Because there might be this amazing change that the organization is doing. But I’ve got to do something different, which is a bit of pain for me. So I’m going to run away, I’m going to resist doing anything different, because I want to run away from that pain. And if there’s something kind of glittery, and new and exciting over there, I’d rather kind of go over there, which is just an avoidance technique of actually accepting the pain.
People purchase things because there’s something missing in their life. Therefore, what do you do? You do a void fill-up, you fill it with something else, which is that joy. So it goes – I’m not feeling that I’ve got meaning and joy, I don’t know what my purpose is in my work. So what am I going to do, I’m just going to go and buy some nice things at the shops, I’m going to go and eat pizza and have beer, which is really bad for my health, and I’m going to overeat, I’m going to look at any other kind of addiction. – they are void fillers that say, “I’d rather avoid the pain than actually tackle the pain.”
Do check out my last post on how to live a fulfilling life:
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